Ready to thrive in ’25?
Happy New Year! So, here we are again at the start of another year.
I usually shy away from writing too much around the subject of new year resolutions.
Quite simply, if you’ve ever made any, you’ll no doubt be aware that for many, if not most people, they just don’t seem to last too long.
Why is this? Why do so many of us struggle to maintain our good intentions?
The answer lies, in part, in the workings of our subconscious mind. This powerful part of our psyche is constantly scanning our environment for threats and opportunities.
When we set a new year’s resolution, it often triggers a subconscious alarm. Our minds perceive change as a potential threat. This primal response, known as the ‘fight-or-flight’ response, can sabotage our best intentions.
For instance, if you resolve to eat healthier, your subconscious may associate this with deprivation.
It might remind you of past diets that failed, or of the delicious treats you’re giving up. This can lead to cravings, emotional eating, and ultimate failure of our good intentions.
Another factor that contributes to the failure of resolutions is the illusion of control. We often believe that we can simply willpower our way to change.
However, true change requires more than just determination. It involves addressing the underlying beliefs and behaviours that have shaped our habits.
For example, if you’re trying to break a bad habit, such as smoking or excessive drinking, it’s important to understand the emotional triggers that lead to these behaviours.
Are you using these habits to cope with stress, boredom, or loneliness? By identifying and addressing these underlying issues, you will be better placed to break free from the cycle of addiction.
So, this coming year, instead of setting rigid, all-or-nothing goals, a more effective approach is to focus on small, incremental changes.
For example, instead of vowing to exercise every day, start with a few minutes of gentle movement, such as yoga or meditation.
As you build momentum, you can gradually increase the intensity and duration of your workouts.
Remember, it’s important to be kind to yourself. If you slip up, don’t beat yourself up.
Instead, view it as a learning opportunity. When we are kind and understanding towards ourselves, we are more likely to persevere in the face of challenges.
Instead of dwelling on our failures, we can focus on our strengths and celebrate our successes, no matter how small.
Remember too, progress is not necessarily linear. There will be setbacks along the way. The key is to stay committed to your goals and to keep moving forward, one small step at a time.
Martin Furber is a therapist qualified in various modalities and an Instructor Member of Mental Health First Aid England wellbeing@martinfurber.com.